I also feel very alienated from those who tend to be thought of as “normal“. The primary cause is my autism and numerous comorbidities.
Also, as I age, my extremely low libido has become essentially zero, especially as compared to the average man.
This sometimes results in me seeing commonalities between myself and many women. I understand that this is a very different thing from actually seeing oneself as a different sex. But it adds to feelings of alienation.
My religious biases are that I believe all religion is invented by Satan in an attempt to placate the “God shaped hole“ within all people and to direct them away from a relationship with the One true God, one in essence, three in person.
I would also say that Christianity is technically a religion, but only in the sense that it is practiced religiously. At its essence it is more about a relationship with Jesus/God and how that relationship affects our relationship with other people.
From your writing it seems like you're fairly familiar with Aristotle and Greek philosophy/theology. I'd definitely encourage you to read Thomas Aquinas - it seems like he'd pull some of those threads together that seem loose at the end of this piece. Edward Feser has some good introductory books into Aquinas, or you can find all of Aquinas' works online directly for free.
Sounds like a crazy journey though. And you're just at the end of the start!
Sure thing. To be clear - they're explicitly Catholic, and you might get some looks from your Orthodox friends. But he builds on Aristotle's four way's, which seems to play heavy in your thinking and writing in this piece. If it didn't, I wouldn't have mentioned it.
Oh, Feser also has a blog that he posts at regularly, he regularly applies the Greeks and Aquinas to modern topics - such as this recent post on campus protests (https://edwardfeser.blogspot.com/2024/04/plato-and-aristotle-on-youth-and.html) making their thoughts modern. He also critiques all the Enlightenment philosophies and post modern thought in light of them. He was my introduction to Aquinas, and while I disagree with him on several subject, he was how I re-started my intellectual race, as it were, after I floundered post grad-school and some life changes.
Wow JS - this was just so beautiful to read. So many of the realisaitons you came to about God in your teens I'm only seeing in my twenties. This was so well written and fascinating to see someone else's spiritual journey of discovery.... more of this!
It seems my years of staring at the ceiling have paid off. Joke's aside, it doesn't matter WHEN we grow, so long as it happens while we're still here. 🫡
When a child asks me, what God looks like, i tell them that we get a picture when we listen quietly with our eyes closed after we said our prayers. We all have our own relationship with that Higher Power.
Excellent post. I love hearing about other's journeys. I'm also curious to see where you go from here! If there's something God has taught me over the decades, it's that every time I think I've arrived, I'm invited to see a new facet of who He is, revealed in others or creation as a whole. He is beautiful.
Not that you asked, but 2024 has been particularly revelatory for me. This is the first year that I've truly felt God's love for myself. I've known He loved me before this, but only with my mind, not my heart. After some deep inner healing, I was finally able to receive the love of Abba for myself. Now, to me, the love of God is everything. Nothing else matters, as far as religion is concerned, if Love, Divine Love, isn't present.
...I've lot to whatever(add, contradict, agree, you name it), but I'll refrain from all of it 'cause no right place or time . But I do have the stupidest question-am I correct to understand you were 18 last year, or did I misread?
In any case case thank you for the post, read with much interest🖋️
I also feel very alienated from those who tend to be thought of as “normal“. The primary cause is my autism and numerous comorbidities.
Also, as I age, my extremely low libido has become essentially zero, especially as compared to the average man.
This sometimes results in me seeing commonalities between myself and many women. I understand that this is a very different thing from actually seeing oneself as a different sex. But it adds to feelings of alienation.
My religious biases are that I believe all religion is invented by Satan in an attempt to placate the “God shaped hole“ within all people and to direct them away from a relationship with the One true God, one in essence, three in person.
I would also say that Christianity is technically a religion, but only in the sense that it is practiced religiously. At its essence it is more about a relationship with Jesus/God and how that relationship affects our relationship with other people.
From your writing it seems like you're fairly familiar with Aristotle and Greek philosophy/theology. I'd definitely encourage you to read Thomas Aquinas - it seems like he'd pull some of those threads together that seem loose at the end of this piece. Edward Feser has some good introductory books into Aquinas, or you can find all of Aquinas' works online directly for free.
Sounds like a crazy journey though. And you're just at the end of the start!
That's great to know! I'm always looking for new books to broaden my horizons.
Sure thing. To be clear - they're explicitly Catholic, and you might get some looks from your Orthodox friends. But he builds on Aristotle's four way's, which seems to play heavy in your thinking and writing in this piece. If it didn't, I wouldn't have mentioned it.
Oh, Feser also has a blog that he posts at regularly, he regularly applies the Greeks and Aquinas to modern topics - such as this recent post on campus protests (https://edwardfeser.blogspot.com/2024/04/plato-and-aristotle-on-youth-and.html) making their thoughts modern. He also critiques all the Enlightenment philosophies and post modern thought in light of them. He was my introduction to Aquinas, and while I disagree with him on several subject, he was how I re-started my intellectual race, as it were, after I floundered post grad-school and some life changes.
Wow JS - this was just so beautiful to read. So many of the realisaitons you came to about God in your teens I'm only seeing in my twenties. This was so well written and fascinating to see someone else's spiritual journey of discovery.... more of this!
Thank you so much for reading!
It seems my years of staring at the ceiling have paid off. Joke's aside, it doesn't matter WHEN we grow, so long as it happens while we're still here. 🫡
Thank you for writing!
When a child asks me, what God looks like, i tell them that we get a picture when we listen quietly with our eyes closed after we said our prayers. We all have our own relationship with that Higher Power.
That is what should be taught in kindergarten!
Excellent post. I love hearing about other's journeys. I'm also curious to see where you go from here! If there's something God has taught me over the decades, it's that every time I think I've arrived, I'm invited to see a new facet of who He is, revealed in others or creation as a whole. He is beautiful.
Not that you asked, but 2024 has been particularly revelatory for me. This is the first year that I've truly felt God's love for myself. I've known He loved me before this, but only with my mind, not my heart. After some deep inner healing, I was finally able to receive the love of Abba for myself. Now, to me, the love of God is everything. Nothing else matters, as far as religion is concerned, if Love, Divine Love, isn't present.
God bless you on your journey!
Something is happening in this world where many of us are finding joy in the God. I'm glad you're one of them!
...I've lot to whatever(add, contradict, agree, you name it), but I'll refrain from all of it 'cause no right place or time . But I do have the stupidest question-am I correct to understand you were 18 last year, or did I misread?
In any case case thank you for the post, read with much interest🖋️
Thanks for reading.
And yeah, I was 18 last year. Turned 19 in December
wow
thank you for answering-should refrain from inserting it either
some posts have a beautiful flow to them-one doesn't want to interrupt
PS G d is not a "He". Hebrew just doesn't have "IT"
the rest is "lost in translation"
I will have this conversation with you for as long as you can bear me.
Converted to Christ at 21, been in the ministry for 29 years in the trenches of evangelism.
Feels like I've heard it all, and evaluated most of it.
Interesting.
What led you to conversion? I myself have been floating the idea since I published this article a few months ago.
https://youtu.be/jet46_dCXCg?si=VqEvNLvTQCBKI4aY